I’ll make her mine

I saw her twice and liked her voice,

This woman broke my knees and chance,

I hope at least, I dream to live,

This sorrow sinful dark romance!

 

She didn’t tell me yes or no,

Nor she avoids my begging lips,

I’ve been her friend since years ago,

I’ve been her guilty pleasure sins.

 

This married woman chained my heart,

She neither takes or let me go!

I have her body, lust of art,

I wish I’d have her velvet soul!

 

Tonight I’ll see her once again,

I swear I’ll kiss her for last time

I’ll put a bullet in her brain,

To make her mine. I’ll make her mine!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love in the time of mania IV

I choose the stairs, to make the hunt longer, but somehow Hector was behind me sooner than I expected. The silence… oh the silence of our steps on those exquisite stairs made the chase  terrifying. I was counting my steps, and that was hard, hard to distinguish between the tick-tack of the time and my heartbeat. ‘Why is he so quiet? Should I say anything? No, no… shut up brain, close your eyes, hold your breath, the faint will be more rewarding!’

He took my hand, from behind: ‘Stop, why are you running?’

‘I am not, I… I’

Of course I replied to his kiss, and between second and third floor, the light of the Waterford crystal chandeliers flooded over us with a warm touch.

‘I have never been so anxious in my life… Oh, I have been, at my prom speech, but that was because my dress was ridiculous and I never wear dresses!’

I woke up very early, reached for my phone 33% battery. ‘Shit, I must charge it!’ But then I changed my mind. ‘I don’t need it. Who will I call?’ I didn’t want to call Katy, cos she’s too soft and Ecio will insist to find everything she knows. ‘Is Ecio already looking for me?’

A hand moved over my breast and cut off on my morning thoughts.

‘Sheila, I don’t want you to leave!’

‘Why are you saying this?’

‘Because I have a queer feeling about you. Where are you planning to run?’

I didn’t reply. We had sex instead.

Love in the time of mania III

He never meant to, but in my mind I constantly felt like a stupid doll, there in front of Hector, a quite respectable man I was a runaway immature girl watching his lips talking about history of Gresham. The move was erotic and I was on a high mood.

‘Thomas Gresham, the founder of the hotel, was an abandoned child’ he whispered, almost like trying not to break my silence.

‘Who? I came from my far away thoughts, sipping from my wine.

‘Gresham, the businessman who set up this historic building where at 7:30 pm I am enjoying quite a good time with this blue eyed mysterious…girl!?’

‘Girl!?’

‘Woman?’

‘Oh dear…don’t worry, after midnight I will not reveal a cock under my pants. Yeah, I am a woman, almost!’ I replied with a smug face.

‘Ha, ha, ha! that’s not the point. Tell me, is a woman like you single?’

I didn’t let my expression change, I just couldn’t risk it. I moved my chair closer, I closed my eyed, I mechanically started to kiss him and like a fool, I tried to stay awake, I tried to be cerebral, but he touched my face, he danced my dance, and I was drunk, ‘danger drunk’.

I asked what floor is his room and he handed me the magnetic card, hypnotized, a shy whisper: ‘Third floor, I will follow you!’

 

 

Love in the time of mania II

Did you ever try to stop millions of thoughts in your mind and miserably failed? I was here, finally with myself, in this dirty bus. I would have killed for a silly conversation with anyone, even with that lost and wasted junkie watching between empty spaces. Was he even thinking at anything? Damn, this route is a long 30 minutes, but I already feel like I left home in my previous avatar life. Why did I called it home? Maybe because I only have clothes for like 3 days?  What will I do after… such an immature decision! But just before I started to have even more negative thoughts the bus stopped and I found myself in Grand Central looking for a tall gentleman with a travelling trolley. He was there checking on his phone and for the first time I found his grey hair very attractive. I stopped for few seconds to analyse him from far – impeccable fashionable clothes, calculated gestures, he gently waved a hand for the waitress, and I felt he’s coming from a Victorian time. Then he saw me.

‘Hi Hector, I didn’t know if it’s you, so casual! I thought you were born in a suit. Cool jeans!’

‘Oh, I was, but I put some jeans on top of it, so I feel more like your age, than your grandpa!’ He followed my sarcastic exchange of compliments game. ‘What do you drink?’

‘Telling with ice!’

‘Hmm, plain whiskey, baby got some wild plans?’

‘I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t hear, because it just washed my image of you being from a different century! Are you for long in Dublin?’ I changed the topic.

‘Just tonight, I am flying to London tomorrow evening. But plenty of time to spend some time, to get to know you a little more.’

I couldn’t hold back and I burst in laugh.

‘Know me? Seriously? You see me second time in your life! You can’t get to know me so easy. Plus, it’s already 6pm!’

‘Are you not staying with me until tomorrow?’

‘Yes, if you get me in London after!’

‘Are you serious?’

‘I am, but you wouldn’t take a stranger in London, so unpredictable’. I tried my reversed psychology and manipulation skills, but he was an intelligent man!

‘Well, you are already here, you need to explain me the “complicated thing” from your message, plus I see you are carrying a backpack. Girls don’t just go to dates with a backpack nowadays… I can’t be that old!’

‘Oh, are we on a date? I smiled’ ‘Can we not just enjoy this evening, it’s getting too interrogative and I might just runaway?’

Hector took my hand, I was nervous and sweaty, and I didn’t want to tell him my plan, nor give too much details about me.

‘Sheila, it’s OK. You can talk when you want. I have a room in Gresham, let’s have some proper dinner and I will get you to a trip in London tomorrow.’

He offered me his arm, and we disappeared in the pouring rain, under his umbrella, like an old couple, where passion was a memory, but a respectful love story was in the air.